When I started this whole journey I really didn’t know what to expect. I remember that I was scared and that I had no idea what I was going to do. I knew that I did not want to die but I couldn’t imagine myself with or without alcohol in my life.
When I came back to the Monterey Peninsula after I relapsed I knew that I was beaten by King Alcohol. I was in the gutter, face down in the mud. I had learned many things the first time that I went through the Beacon HouseSM…. most importantly was that there were people who knew what they were doing. They had done it before and they were willing to show me what they did so I could get better.
When I returned I knew that I was safe because I was surrounded by people who had the knowledge and experience that was going to help save my life.
I am always interested in sayings from the past. One of them that I learned lately came from the generation that fought during World War II. I consider this generation to be the greatest generation because of the total effort that they put into the war effort. They dropped everything in their lives for something that was bigger then them. They called it, “Putting your shoulder to the wheel.”
When I came back….. that is what I wanted to do. I wanted to, “Put my shoulder to the wheel” and get my life back again. In the above video are a couple of people that I consider great people in my life or recovery.
Carol was someone who I could always hear in my head during my first year in recovery. I can always remember thinking of situations in terms of whether they were going to be positive or negative for my recovery. The way that I viewed relapse and how it is a process and not just an event. I realized that my relapse had been planted in my head long before the day that I took that drink.
Having positive examples of people in my life is something that I value so much now. People that lead by example and shine the light on the path in front of you. That is how I think of Noah… someone who is always a most amazing example of living life with purpose.
I love thinking back on my life and how it was before I went into recovery. I think about how impossible I thought that getting sober was going to be. Now that I am sober I can look back at how impossible I thought it was going to be and use that as an example for other seemingly impossible things in front of me.
If I can get sober… I can do anything. To me, that is putting your “Shoulder to the wheel.”