JudgementDecember 28, 2013 11:06 am Leave your thoughts
And now for another edition of…. Stuff that I wrote in my Big Book.
So when I was in treatment at the Beacon HouseSM one of the things that I really did not like at first was “checking in” in the morning. I know that this has changed and they might not do this anymore but it was happening when I was there.
Everyone would get up in the morning and make their beds and then meet in the living room to check in. This meant that everyone would sit down and one-by-one we would go around the room and rate how we were feeling on a scale of 1-10. Then we would have to talk about why we felt the way that we did.
I just remember that the first couple of days of this I was almost always crying and was surrounded by pillows trying to make myself feel safe. After awhile I started to like the morning check ins because I could see that that there was some improvement in me and in some of my friends around me…
At the end of the check in the leader would always read us a quote. I don’t remember who this was from but it was the first thing that I can ever remember hearing…. and getting through to me. Its pretty simple really but it took someone saying it to me to really get it.
“Good judgment comes from experience..
Experience comes from bad judgement”
Pretty simple right?
I don’t think that I even knew what the word “judgement” meant…. let alone the difference between good and bad judgement.
What this meant for me is that I had to make the mistakes and take the hits before I could really realize where I was and what I was doing. I always just acted on what I was thinking and never though about the consequences….. That was how I just sailed through life.
Sometimes I can catch myself reacting to something that someone said or reading into someones statements. I have to remember to take a step back and not to react to my first instinct.
Pause… and remember. Am I coming at this from a place of love or a place of fear.