Days Gone ByDecember 23, 2014 10:45 pm Leave your thoughts
Tomorrow I am going to be going down to see my family in Southern California. Its another year for me… its almost the same as most of the years before it.
Lately I have taken these tips for granted….. I really don’t think twice about them because there is really nothing out of the ordinary about them for me. They are just something that happens every year. I take a trip.
7 years ago this trip was something that was out of the ordinary. I wanted something to change in my life.. but I just did not know how to vocalize it. My life had become something that I could not recognize. I don’t think that anyone that loved me could of recognized me at that point. I was a mere shell of what I was months before.
I knew that there was something that had to change for me… or else I was not going to be around much longer. This was the trip that would be the beginning of the rest of my life. I just had no idea that it was happening.
Even thought I wanted to change to come… I don’t think that I would have chosen it if I was given the choice. There was a lot of fear of the unknown for me… I had no idea what my life was going to be like without alcohol. I think that it would have to be forced on me. There was something drastic that had to happen to make me see the light. This was the beginning of that drastic journey.
It must have started innocently enough… I am pretty sure that I flew south because there is no way that I would have been able to get behind the wheel of a car at that time. I never drove anywhere. I had a couple of drinks at the airport waiting for my flight… probably more then a couple. There were times when I was almost not let on flights because of how drink that I was. This could have been one of those times.
In my family, we celebrate the holidays at the house of our in-laws. It is the house of a family that we gained over 9 years ago and I can’t imagine our lives without them. My brother got married and our family grew larger. It just so happened that we would have our Christmas’ at their house. I remember going over to there house for this particular holiday.. and nothing was out of the ordinary… I was a couple of drinks deep and I knew that there was going to be plenty of booze at the house.
Those were the things that were most pressing in my life at the time… was there alcohol at the destination and was there enough to keep me going.
Not thinking about something like that is something that I don’t think I will ever take for granted. I will keep you all up to date with the progress of my trip down south….. how it makes me feel, the memories that it brings up… and where it takes me.