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To Live or Die.

December 31, 2015 1:31 pm

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Why did I get sober?  There are many reasons.

The reason that sticks out most in my mind today is:

I stopped caring if I lived or died.

To think back on being in that place after many years of sobriety….  I am saddened.

To not care if I LIVED or DIED!!!!

What a dark time that was in my life…

Sitting here now, thinking of that time, I cry silent tears of gratitude.

Getting sober was the hardest thing I have ever done.

It has also been the most rewarding.

I am blessed in this life.

If you are thinking of getting sober.

If you are in that dark spot of not caring…

Please, choose the Light.

It only gets better.

Happy New Year.

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Thought for the Holidays.

December 24, 2015 2:19 pm

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This thought has crossed my mind numerous times….

I got loaded EVERY day for YEARS, so does that mean I should go to a meeting EVERY day for YEARS?  How about during holidays?

I believe the answer is yes to both questions.

When I got sober it was “suggested” that I go to a meeting every day, for 90 days…  NINETY DAYS!

I listened to this “suggestion” – reluctantly at first….   I was lucky in that I loved the first meeting that I attended.  I loved it so much that I went to one that evening as well – 8pm Monday night at Beacon HouseSM!!

There is one thing that always sticks out in my mind about the holiday question….  In treatment, we have group and go to meetings on holidays – we do not take a break for the disease.  Why?  Because the disease never takes a break!   Did you quit drinking or using on holidays?  I absolutely did not!

My “suggestion” is to go to a meeting during the holidays.  Never take a break from your recovery, just as you never took a break from using while active in your disease.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

White Elephant!

December 18, 2015 12:53 pm

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Sometimes I just have to laugh….

I went to a lovely Holiday Party at my friend’s house last week.  What a great time!

I, of course, showed up with my Diet Coke can in hand….  Everyone else had mini wine bottles poured into beautiful glasses or a beer.

These situations are uncomfortable for me….  Only in the sense that I feel like I stand out – wine glasses, beer bottles, and then me – Diet Coke can!!!!  I feel different, I am different.  In this group of women, I am the ONLY one that does not drink and is not fixated on wine….  There is SO much talk about WINE!!!!.  So, to fit in better, I came up with the simple solution of pouring my Coke into a glass!!  It is not rocket science, but it took me a good half-hour to figure out…..

All settled in and enjoying the company, it was time for the White Elephant gift exchange….  This is what I won….

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At first I was disappointed, but in the end I just had to laugh with my Diet Coke in hand!!!!!

Happy Safe, Sober Holidays to you!!!

Holiday Drinks!

December 8, 2015 5:02 pm

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The Holiday season can be a challenge for me with all the social events/parties to attend.

One of the biggest hurdles that I face at these social gatherings is the expectation of other people, mainly friends.  They all have an idea of how the holidays should be experienced, with the focus being on drinking alcohol……..

In the past, these events would be a time for drinking and partying…..  Today, it is not about that for me…..  BUT this time of year does require extra diligence to maintaining my spiritual condition and recovery….

This Holiday season I have started reading the Big Book again, from the beginning.   As I am reading, I am reminded that no matter how much time goes by; how good I feel; how successful I am in life; I will never be safe from the grips of my alcoholism.

Most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink normally…We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.” Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever.  P. 33

I have seen this self-defeating, rationalizing behavior more times than I’d like to admit through my work, family, and in the rooms. Yet, I can have all the knowledge in the world, but if I’m not maintaining my recovery, spiritual path, and practicing the steps I can give into that first drink as quickly as the other person.

No matter how many years I have in recovery, I am no stronger than the other alcoholic who has one day sober.

We are in this together, one day at a time…….  Happy, sober, holidays!!  Happy, clean and sober, life!